Terrible Things
by EClarexForever
Summary: Eli has a talk with his son about falling in love. Oneshot . Based on Terrible things, by Mayday parade


**[A/N] haaaai! So, in all this degrassi Hiatus, I've decided to use this time to get back into writing. I uploaded a oneshot last week or so , go check it out and review?;) anyways, this is a little sad, more of a Eli/oc fic . Yes, to clarify, Clare is dead in this, she died of cancer**. **Twitter: aislinnmylove tumblr: hotel-Eli**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Terrible things By Mayday Parade_**

**_Based off of "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade._**

_"by the time I was your age, I'd give anything, _

_to fall in love truly was all I could think. _

_That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams, _

_the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen."_

Elijah Goldsworthy watched his 16 year old son, Munro, from the kitchen window. He was sitting on the porch, head in his hands, staring down at his feet. Eli sighed. It broke his heart to see his son in such a state. Mainly because it reminded him of himself, 23 years ago.

Munro looked a lot like Eli, a spitting image. He had the same jet black hair, the same smirk played on his lips, and most of his closet was filled with dark clothing. Apart from appearances, he was also like his dad personality wise. He was slightly overprotective of his friends, and emotionally sensitive. by 2 years old he was already having adult conversations, a smart kid he was.

There was one thing, though. He reminded Eli too much of his mom. He had his mothers eyes, as blue and alive as the ocean. Always filled with.. Hope. Just as Eli remembered hers to be. It hurt him to look his son in the eyes, and he seldom did. They brought back too many memories of the person who once had those eyes.

Clare Edwards. - well, Clare Goldsworthy, as of 17 years ago.

"son.."

Munro turned and gazed up at his dad. Even in the dark of the night, Eli could see his blue eyes, now red and puffy. "hey.." he answered casually, as Eli took a seat beside him on the porch. "I was just going to head inside, I know you don't like it when I'm out here this late.." Munro stopped, sensing that his dad didn't come out here to order him inside. He quietly waited, until Eli started talking.

"she had beautiful eyes.." Eli cast a quick look at munro's eyes. "that's the second thing I ever told her. Before I even knew her name, or anything about her for that matter. I fell in love with her eyes. As they bore into mines, filled with more depth than I could imagine." the young boy knew now, his father was talking about his mom. He stayed quiet, waiting for Eli to continue.

After a short silence, he did. "I was about your age when I met her. And I almost knew automatically that this was a girl I wasn't going to forget. Obviously, though, being in the state I was, I wasn't about to fall in love again. All I did was.. Hurt the people I loved. And I didn't want to see Clare hurt. She was stubborn, your mom. And always logical. Loved to argue with me." he chuckled.

"but like I said, logical. I was suffocating her, instead of giving her space. That's what my craziness did.. When she wanted to leave, I just about drove my car into a wall. A few broken bones, but I was fine. That's what she did, she made me want to die, but at the same time keep me alive. " Munro was lost for words. He'd never heard this story before. Yes, he knew how his parents met, over a pair of glasses. But not this side of the story. And he didn't know if he wanted to hear the rest. But he stayed quiet. "we got back together a year later. And things were better than ever. I continued to take my pills, she continued to be the best girlfriend in the world. It was many years, - and apologies later, when she told me she was sick." tears were making its way down Eli's cheeks. His son sat silently, trying to take it all in. "see, I was always the sick one. The one who needed a support system, someone to keep me alive. So to realize it was my turn to be her rock, I tried to do my best- I- I tried to keep her safe, keep you safe.. You were only one at the time. And there were nights that I thought about losing it. I thought I was going to have another manic episode, pills or not." his voice was dangerously low, clenching his fists til his knuckles were completely white.

Munro knew about Eli's bi-polar disorder. And he also knew it took certain things to trigger it. He'd only witnessed an episode once, when he was 12 and tried to run away from home on his bike. They'd gotten into a fight and he stormed off- Eli just about freaked, warning him about the dangers of riding at night. That was when Munro found out about Julia.

"but then I'd think about you and your mother, how much you both needed me to be sane," Eli tilted his head a bit to look at Munro, who had his gaze locked on him. Munro didn't make a sound, not wanting to ruin the moment. "you two kept me grounded. When she-" Eli choked back a sob, and Munro nodded, understanding. "passed away, it triggered my disorder. Cece and bullfrog took you in for a while, while I was forced back into therapy and was prescribed another type of medication. I didn't think I could do it, raise you right without your mother. I didn't want you to be like me, I didn't want to curse you with this.. Nightmare." Eli stopped talking and Munro finally found his voice again. "I grew up fine, dad. I know I'm a lot like you in ways, but you always told me I had many of my mons characteristics." it was true, Munro was a little more understanding than Eli was. Just like he remembered Clare to be like. He also had a passion for journalism, and while Eli enjoyed writing, he focused more on fiction and plays. "son, I'm only telling you this because life, can do terrible things. And you, you're like me, fragile hearted. I don't want to see you get hurt.." it was a wonder how Eli knew that Munro was stressed over a girl. Maybe it was a father-son thing?

"sometimes I wonder how it would be like.. If she was still alive. How our relationship would me." Eli chuckled. "you'd love her. She was kind-hearted, we balanced each other out. " Munro knew he would've liked his mom. If she was anything like Eli had described her. But he also knew she was watching him, looking down on him. Sometimes, he swore he could hear her voice in his head, telling him right from wrong, and he knew she wasn't really gone.

Eli stood up, but looked down at Munro. "so don't fall in love, save yourself. Because once you do, you'll realize the pain is worth it, and i can't bare to see the same thing happen to you."

Munro stared up at his dad and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for this, dad.." but, like Eli would've done 23 years ago, Munro didn't listen to his dads advice.

_"__So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose_

_If given the choice, then, I'm begging you, choose_

_To walk away, walk away, don't let her get you._

_I can't bear to see the same happen to you."_

**Hmm.. I didn't like the ending:( but I wrote this at 3 in the morning so it's just a Drabble. Please review, I'd love to hear your criticism !c: **

**Twitter: aislinnmylove Tumblr: hotel-eli**


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